Yes, I Wear Crocs --- A Response to the Crocks on Hate Websites

One of the local KKK-style hate websites here in St. Augustine has found a new fetish: foot fetishism.

One of those dull local hate websites has actually reported something truthful: on occasion, I have been known to wear CROCS.

They remind me of some dull corporate lawyers who, on an icy, snowy day, stared at my feet throughout an oral argument before a Department of Labor Administrative Law Judge that involved nothing more than the future of protected activity in Oak RIdge.

They remind me of school bullies who mock other students' appearance and clothing.

How trite. How deliciously low. How unalterably hickish and barbaric.

Note to foot-fetishizing hate websites: your beloved ex-President George W. Bush (a/k/a Mr. "Return Honor and Dignity to the White House") reportedly wore CROCS inside the White House, below. Stick that in your fossil powerplant and burn it.

A great many people in Brooklyn wear CROCS, according to an article in Sunday's NY Times about the coming culture clash of a Russian billionaire moving there.

Reportedly, CROCS have also been worn by Drew Barrymore, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Burt Reynolds, Faith Hill, and Tim McGraw.

Several of my friends wear CROCS, too. They're comfortable. They're cheerful. They breathe. You don't have to wear socks with them. You can wash them easily. But most importantly, wearing them upsets right-wingers who haven't heard about Bush's CROCS.

I'd love to have a photograph of City Manager WILLIAM B. HARRISS wearing CROCS (or in the alternative, wearing his fuzzy bunny slippers).

When City Hall autocrats and their toadies and entourages have nothing better to do than to talk about your shoes or your dog, it might just be that they're obsessed with you. Or else, perhaps some of our local hate website operators might just have a crush on me.

What do you reckon?