(Satire alert)
All "good Republicans" are invited to watch the first Presidential debate tonight (August 6, Hiroshima Day), at HURRICANE GRILL.
Ten bad Republicans will be on stage on television in Cleveland.
All recovering Republicans are gently reminded that Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Dwight David Eisenhower, Everett McKinley Dirksen, Ronald Wilson Reagan, Richard Milhous Nixon, Gerald Rudolph Ford and even Barry Goldwater would have been ejected as "Communists" by the KKK Klown Kar, whose local leaders include racist, sexist, misogynist homophobes and KKK sympathizers.
As my late mentor, KKK-buster, infiltrator and activist Stetson Kennedy explained, local KKK members around St. Augustine have now all become Republicans.
(That's Stetson Kennedy wearing KKK robes undercover, and Stetson's robes being donated to the Smithsonian).
Go on down to HURRICANE GRILL and enjoy the freak show, on-stage and among "good Republicans" (now rapidly oxymoronic).
Robes and hoods are optional.
Original thoughts are discouraged.
Faux Fox News opinions are mandatory.
Developers, wetland-fillers, wildlife-killers, tree-clearcutters, corrupters, history destroyers and other Temple Destroyers are most welcome.
Jimmy Carter rightly said America is now an "oligarchy" with massive bribery and corruption.
The most corrupt county in Florida, St. Johns County exemplifies those traits.
The Issues Group long picked your County Commissioners and is responsible for attempting to turn beautiful St. Johns County into an unreasonable facsimile of Broward County and Richardson, Texas.
Donee-beneficiaries of 450th pork barrel contracts, waste, fraud, abuse, misfeasance, malfeasance, nonfeasance, flummery, dupery, nincompoopery, tomfoolery, no-bid contracts, planning and zoning favors and bigoted good-ole-boy hiring practices: Bring your checkbooks.
Racism and bigotry are de rigeur -- hateful remarks about African-Americans, unions, Gays, Jews, Catholics, Italians, women, Muslims, Mexicans, environmentalists, liberals, lawyers, and President Barack Obama are the ticket to entering the Klub.
It's a hater hootenanny.
Dissent will not be tolerated.
Democracy (and Democrats) will be denounced.
Limbaugh lovers will be in charge.
St. Augustine, Florida is the place Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once called "the most lawless in America."
While we're making progress in St. Augustine and St. Augustine Beach, the surrounding county remains what former St. Johns County Commission Chairman Ben Rich, himself a recovering Republican, called St. Johns County "one of the last bastions of the KKK." (Folio Weekly, 2008).
FBI undercover operatives: be sure you've had all your inoculations.
Tip your server.
Watch the Party of Lincoln immolate itself in its worship of human greed and bigotry.
Vote Democratic (that's the party with less than 24% voter registration in St. Johns County, run by unctuous undercover Republicans.
Our St. Johns County Democratic Executive Committee won't even support requests for a Justice Department civil rights investigation on 15th Amendment violations on denying any early voting location to majority-Democratic City of St. Augustine.)
Report all civil rights and antitrust violations to the U.S. Department of Justice and all assaults and batteries to local police.
Vote for decency, liberty, security and equality.
Vote against KKK "Family values" and for restoring our democratic republic.
As RFK said, "What we need in the United States is not hatred…."
Forgive them.
Laugh at them peckerwoods.
Say hello to JOHN THRASHER a/k/a "John Trasher," former lobbyist, former State Senator who wanted golf courses in state parks, and now Florida State University President.
And ask any GLBT, Jewish or female Republicans, "Why?"
Ask St. Augustine Beach Mayor ANDREA SAMUELS, Democrat-turned-Republican.
"Come comfy."
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