Sunday, March 29, 2026

ANNALS OF DeSANTISTAN: Gov. DeSantis signs bill that will pave the way for a water slide to be built at a Miami Beach hotel

Fontainebleau Miami Beach Is Getting A Huge New Water Park—With One Of ...

Creepy corporations benefit from one-party rule in Florida.  

They're fun to watch.  

Fun facts: 

1. Married to a current State Senator, former State Senator ROBERT MILNER BRADLEY, Jr. chairs the St. Johns River Water  Management District Board.  He is, a louche lawyer, and FOUNTAINBLEAU DEVELOPMENT['s lobbyist, law partners with St. Johns County Attorney RICHARD CHRISTIAN KOMANDO, whose corporare law firm was hired lAR Yew as our Sr. Johna County Attorney on a 3-2 vote, with Commissioner CLAY MURPHY's deciding vote. No negotiation by Commissioner MURPHY on the County Attorney contract, despite MURPHY having been delegated by fellow Commissioners the authority to negotiate the contract.

2. In 2019, St. Augustine Beach Commissioners unanimously voted down 5-0 an ugly water slide addition to the Miami ARDID FAMiLY's  massive multi-colored monstrosity at the already too-big Embassy Suites Hotel, a decision that was upheld on appeal.  As H.L. Mencken said, some Americans "have a libido for the ugly."

3. Other-directed devious developer cat's paw du jour, St. Johns County Commissioner SARAH ARNOLD (R-HUTSONVILLE) was appointed by our former St. Johns County Congressman, Boy Governor RONALD DION DeSANTIS, and she actually bragged about it on massive signs on commercial and agricultural properties, selling her wares.  Other-directed satrap SARAH ARNOLD has not filed for re-election.  Wonder why?  What rough beast would take her place as the secretive corporations foreign-funded, land-raping speculator-developers' next Manchurian Candidate? 

From CBS News:

Gov. DeSantis signs bill that will pave the way for a water slide to be built at a Miami Beach hotel

Gov. Ron DeSantis signed seven bills Friday, including a measure paving the way for several large water slides to be built at the Fontainebleau hotel in Miami Beach.

The bill (HB 399) has been criticized by Miami Beach officialsbecause it allows the development to move forward without being cleared by the Miami Beach Historic Preservation Board. The Miami Beach Commission had urged DeSantis to veto the bill.

Under the measure, which takes effect immediately, a "large destination resort" can skip the approval process from the Historic Preservation Board, and a local government "must administratively approve" an application for a zoning variance.

A DeSantis spokeswoman didn't immediately return an email seeking comment Friday.

The bill passed on a mostly party-line vote in both chambers, with three Republicans – Reps. Fabian Basabe of Miami Beach, Linda Chaney of St. Pete Beach, and David Smith of Winter Springs – voting against it.

Before it passed, though, the bill was the flashpoint for a bitter fight in the Senate, which rejected an amendment from Sen. Jonathan Martin, R-Fort Myers, on the last day of the session to allow property owners within a rural boundary designation to seek to remove their land from that boundary, designed to protect wetlands and environmentally sensitive areas.

The controverisal bill is not the only one DeSantis signed on Friday

Other legislation signed by DeSantis includes a measure (SB 386) requiring farm equipment manufacturers to repair, replace or compensate a consumer if the equipment breaks down within the warranty period. Manufacturers, though, don't have to comply if the breakdown is the result of neglect or improper modifications made by the consumer.

The bill was part of the push for "right to repair" legislation by consumer advocates and farmers across the country, who pointed to cumbersome or unfair requirements by manufacturers selling tractors equipped with high-tech gadgets.

When the technology breaks down, so does the tractor, requiring a technician to fix. That fix often takes weeks or more, costing farmers time and money. The warranties often prevent consumers from fixing the equipment themselves or taking it to a technician outside those approved by the manufacturer.

Similar legislation to impose similar requirements for wheelchair and cellphone and laptop makers has failed to pass in recent years.

The other bills signed by DeSantis include a measure (HB 569) to allow the Agency for Persons with Disabilities to house criminal defendants who need to be restored to competency to be housed with defendants whose charges have been dismissed, and a measure (HB 844) adding the treatment of pain for patients with sickle cell disease to the standard education course on prescribing controlled substances.

The bill was part of the push for "right to repair" legislation by consumer advocates and farmers across the country, who pointed to cumbersome or unfair requirements by manufacturers selling tractors equipped with high-tech gadgets.

When the technology breaks down, so does the tractor, requiring a technician to fix. That fix often takes weeks or more, costing farmers time and money. The warranties often prevent consumers from fixing the equipment themselves or taking it to a technician outside those approved by the manufacturer.

Similar legislation to impose similar requirements for wheelchair and cellphone and laptop makers has failed to pass in recent years.

The other bills signed by DeSantis include a measure (HB 569) to allow the Agency for Persons with Disabilities to house criminal defendants who need to be restored to competency to be housed with defendants whose charges have been dismissed, and a measure (HB 844) adding the treatment of pain for patients with sickle cell disease to the standard education course on prescribing controlled substances.

A pair of bills (HB 1443, HB 1445) require the University of South Florida to create a registry of Parkinson's Disease patients and exempt the registry from public records laws. Another measure (HB 7011) extends a public records exemption for aquaculture data held by the Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services that was set to expire in October.

 

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