Adam Chalom is the rabbi of Kol Hadash Humanistic Congregation in Deerfield, Illinois, and dean for North America of the International Institute for Secular Humanistic Judaism. Jodi Kornfeld is the rabbi of Beth Chaverim Humanistic Jewish Community in Deerfield, Illinois. They are the co-editors of “Contemporary Humanistic Judaism: Beliefs, Values, Practices.”
Every winter, we hear about a “December dilemma” because of Hanukkah and Christmas occurring in the same month. This year, Hanukkah starts on Christmas Day!
Since 1900, this has happened only four other times: in 1910, 1921, 1959 and 2005. Hanukkah starting on Christmas this year is the result of two calendars intersecting. Hanukkah is based on the Jewish lunar calendar, while Christmas relies on the solar calendar.
This conundrum suggests that interfaith couples and families are annually confronted with the challenge of how to celebrate two holidays in close proximity with equal attention and importance. Even for those not in interfaith families or relationships, an appropriate balance of respect and understanding seems to be needed.
The Jewish fear is that the majority-Christian culture in the United States, with Christmas decorations in every store and nonstop Christmas music on the radio, will drown out the minority-Jewish culture’s celebration of Hanukkah — Christmas trees and Nativity scenes in public spaces towering over token menorahs or dreidels, school holiday concerts predominantly filled with carols. Most American Jews know they are a small minority, but it feels even smaller by the end of December.
Jewish minority concerns have been heightened by demographic trends. According to a 2021 Pew Research Center survey, 42 percent of all married Jewish respondents said they had a spouse who was not Jewish. The survey also shows that the vast majority of Jews married to non-Jews were not raising their children Jewish by religion. However, “Jewish by religion” tells only part of the story, because many intermarried families are raising their children as Jewish by culture and heritage, or as Jewish and another identity, and those alternatives are key to addressing the “December dilemma.”
On Dec. 25, the 25th day of the Jewish month of Kislev, these holidays will be celebrated together by thousands of families, their homes adorned with both menorahs and Christmas trees. Together these families will probably exchange gifts in honor of traditions that now belong to both sides of their family trees. Christmas cookies will be decorated side by side with Hanukkah cookies. What these family celebrations have in common is how the cultural underpinnings of two different traditions can make room for and integrate with each other to maximize the joy of the season.
The dilemma can be taken out of December by understanding one important idea both traditions share: The two holidays appear when darkness outweighs light in the natural world, at or near the winter solstice. Because Hanukkah is always at the end of a moon cycle, the nights are the longest and darkest of the year. The Jewish cultural tradition is to light an increasing number of candles on menorahs on each of the eight nights of the holiday so that by the end, the light and warmth are brighter than ever, just as the moon returns and the sun begins to shine longer and brighter.
The Christian cultural tradition has trees indoors and out, decorated with shimmering lights. Both holidays share the universal human phenomenon of wanting light and warmth as it gets dark and cold. We huddle to share the warmth of others. Probably an early human survival strategy, the same practice serves us well today.
Many cultural Jews celebrate Hanukkah through food, music, family time and giving rather than prayer and emphasizing miracles — dreidels, not dogma. Many Christians celebrate Christmas similarly; it’s about the Christmas tree, not the Nativity scene. If we free these holidays from revelation and religious rules and instead treat identity as religious heritage and culture responding to the human experience, then stories about gods and miracles can become secondary to the human experience of the winter solstice and light. Seen from this perspective, Hanukkah and Christmas have a great deal in common.
The darker the day, the greater the need for light. One certainty about the winter solstice is that as soon as it ends, the days’ light begins to increase again. The cyclical nature of the world shows itself — no miracles, nothing supernatural. The universal human experience came first, and religious legends were then created by people to respond to that experience. Hindus, Jains and Sikhs also celebrate a festival of lights, called Diwali, as days begin to get shorter. Our common humanity bridges different religious traditions.
When planning holiday celebrations outside your home or religious community, consider the wide range of human culture beyond your own personal attachments. Appreciating the human origins of holiday celebrations will make you a better neighbor, friend, co-worker and even family member to those who celebrate differently.
There need not be a competition between December celebrations, nor does the integrity of one holiday have to be compromised to celebrate the other. That is a false, binary choice that fosters the idea of a December dilemma. Instead, identifying with the human condition and experience, albeit from unique and different cultural traditions, brings people closer together.
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