Wednesday, March 10, 2010

What Exactly Are Florida Republican Family Values?





What do they mean by "family values" and since when do we let Republicans make movies? What classic films would Florida Republicans have considered worthy of receiving "family values" tax credits? See articles below.

1. Patton? Great film. Great victories over the Nazis. But Republicans resemble Nazis in their intolerance. Republicans love war and want to kill foreigners' families. Could be a tossup.

2. Dr. Zhivago? It's about love, poetry and war, and it has adultery. Probably no.

3. Man for All Seasons? It has a Catholic dissenter (St. Thomas More) as the protagonist and we know North Florida redneck peckerwood Republicans don't like Catholics or dissenters.

4. Gone with the Wind? It has Catholics in it, it has adultery too. It makes the Confederacy look romantic -- of course, Florida Republicans would approve.

5. To Kill A Mockingbird? Father is a widower -- not traditional family. He also represents an unpopular defendant in a racist community. Definitely not for Repugs.

6. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs? No way. Snow White lives with seven dwarfs.

7. Sunrise at Campobello? It's about FDR's family and his surviving polio, but Republicans have always hated FDR (and the New Deal). Probably no.

8. All the President's Men? It's about two cool journalists' triumph over wicked evil President Richard Nixon & his band of crooks. The two journalists aren't married to anyone (not even each other). President Richard Nixon is a Repug. No chance.

9. Love Story? No way. They're not married. One is Catholic. Eric Segal may have based one of the characters on Al Gore (or his roommate at Harvard, Tommy Lee Jones).

10. Birth of a Nation? It makes the KKK look heroic -- Florida Repugss would love it. That's what they need to do -- fund moviemaking about the KKK families in Florida, perhaps providing the racist rabid reactionary rebuttal to Rosewood.

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