Thursday, March 23, 2023

A MODEST PROPOSAL: "Want fries with that legislative help? " (AP, April 19, 2009)

Here's an idea to save time, motion and energy for St. Johns County's foreign-funded corporate oligarchs and their unfriendly, uninformed or ill-mannered governmental minions.  

You might call it "A Modest Proposal," after Dr. Jonathan Swift's 1729 satire of that name.

We could always rename St. Johns County "HUTSON COUNTY" in tribute to its obtuse political boss, Senator-developer TRAVIS JAMES HUTSON (above right, with pet rocks, unsophisticated St. Johns County Commission Chair CHRISTIAN (wit) WHITEHURST, who never matriculated, and St. Johns County Clerk of Courts and Comptroller BRANDON J. PATTY, a graduate of the London School of Economics 

Fun fact: Once upon a time, an arrogant, impudent, impecunious millionaire Tennessee banker and Democratic Governor candidate JACOB FRANK BUTCHER thought he owned and ran the State of Tennessee (before his federal indictment, arrest, conviction and incarnation for bank fraud).  During these dark days, Tennessee  House Speaker Ned Ray McWhorter publicly joked that "they should put a drive-in window on the side of our Tennessee State Capitol, and rename it the 'STATE OF JAKE.'"  JAKE BUTCHER reminded me of the Rolling Stones' song, "Sympathy for the Devil," as do the three haughty naughty Dull Republican corporate conmen in the photograph above.

Pity uncouth, unsophisticated, selfish, halfwit, half-a-billionaire State Senator-developer TRAVIS JAMES HUTSON and our other devious devilish developer corporate oligarchs.  

Senator HUTSON was fast to attempt to take land from St. Johns County and give it to Duval Conuty to benefit  Nocatee developers, an effort that failed. He attacked Soil and Water Conservation Districts because of his malice and grudge against Nicole Crosby for saving The Outpost.  Two of his pro-corporate bills were sooo crooked that Flori-DUH Governor RONALD DION DeSANTIS vetoed them, including DeSANTIS's very first veto as Governor in 2019.  You've got to be pretty creepy and extremist when our extremist Governor vetoes two (2) of your corrupt bills in the cesspool that is Tallahassee and the Florida State Legislature, which has long reminded me of Henry Demarest Lloyd's line about Standard Oil, the Rockefeller's and Henry Flagler -- that they'd "done everything to the Pennsylvania Legislature except refine it."

Despite their money made by mulcting citizens out of our democratic republic, the oligarchs are constantly obliged to hire louche lawyers and lousy lobbyists, who must put then shoes and socks on and go to the Taj Mahal (Administration Building), shake hands with lesser mortals of equally dubious morals, sit in chairs and must wait their turn to make one-sided secret presentations to accommodating Commissioners, who will meet with corporate advocates every day of the week, while betting illegal "legal advice" not to meet with citizens who criticize the government. (Yes, this means you, mediocre, unscholarly, superficial, supercilious St. Johns County Attorney DAVID MICHAEL MIGUT (Florida Bar No. 513636) mendacious mental midget, and his willing anti-social accomplices and incurious cutouts, LEX MORTON TAYLOR, III (Florida Bar No. 123365), Chief Deputy County Attorney and BRADLEY JAMES BULLTHUIS (Florida Bar No. 106292), Senior Assistant County Attorney for Litigation. Mr. BULLTHUIIS clerked for U.S. District Court Judge Matthew Corrigan, who may one day be assigned one or more civil rights cases involving government lawbreaking in St. Johns County possibly suffered, permitted, tolerated, encouraged or covered up by BULLTHUIS.

During their time at our Taj Mahal, HUTSON and his feculent gang of lawyers, liars and expert witnesses could be doing other work for the Devil -- like deforestation, destroying wetlands, extirpating wildlife, crowding roads and overpacking schools like certified fools on a mission from Satan himself. 

These wealthy developers and their mouthpieces actually have to sit in the Taj Mahal Auditorium and listen to actual citizens question stakeholders like themselves, even supposing their questions should be answers and our laws should be uphold against the viperous Vandals and Visigoths destroying our precious cultural heritage.  They often have to answer questions and hear public criticism, though certain corporate-coddling petty tyrant Commissioners want to protect them. 

As demonstrated by pro-developer items discussed without being on the agenda, moneybags have a pronounced sense of entitlement, like mafiosi. They already think of County Commissioners as short order cooks. Why not change the architecture and erect a drive-through for one stop lawbreaking?

Why not let orotund gasbag Senator-developer TRAVI$ JAMES HUT$ON and other money-bags bring their demands for legislation to the County Commission at a drive-in window, like the ones for banks and retail stores?  They can stick their filthy lucre in a cash drawer, get a receipt, and be merrily on their way, getting and spending on flubdubs for  their dumb 'ole ugly-ass "developments," which they expect County taxpayers to buy for them.

Thataway, average citizens would NOT have to look at their wicked woeful countenances, or be witnesses to their filthy crimes against nature.

What do y'all reckon?

From the Associated Press:

Want fries with that legislative help?
Saturday, April 18, 2009

SCRANTON--A politician in northeastern Pennsylvania has been getting some ribbing from his colleagues for it, but he says having a drive-through window at his office is working great.

State Rep. Kevin Murphy says his office in Scranton has the drive-through to make it easier for his constituents to see him. He says senior citizens, the disabled and those who have children in the car especially like the convenience of not having to walk into the office to drop off or pick up paperwork.

The first-term Democrat says he personally staffs the drive-through most Thursdays and Fridays from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Copyright 2009 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
First published on April 18, 2009 at 9:15 am


Anonymous said...

What the hell is someone from the London School of Economics doing working down here at the clerks office? Landed a little bit short didn't he? Maybe this is one of the only places that his deplorable hyper capitalist views would be accepted? Does he come to work with an inner tube around his waste wearing a Hawaiian shirt? Does he come to work with a martini in his hand? Shoveling poop for Tea Party hogs? Not very prestigious.

Anonymous said...

The only thing missing is the recipe for cooking Whitehurst.

Anonymous said...

When the people reject taxes and put shills for the rich in power..hogs.. they can't complain about societies problems and how government should solve those problems. Yeah, cheerlead for people like Trump and put people into power who consider lack of state income tax to be an accomplishment. Let them use federal money, California and New York money, to help Floridian society while you obscure that fact and claim victory? Then write silly laws that ensnare people and maximize the failure of state government? This is a crime.