Wednesday, April 05, 2023

Borowitz Report Satire: Millions of Americans Who Have Paid Off Porn Stars Feel Under Attack. (The New Yorker)

Waiting for the TRUMP CLUB of St. Johns County to opine, along with the TEA PARTY.  These poor misguided wealthy Dull Republican cat's paws have hosted local elected officials and candidates, including current Sheriff ROBERT HARDWICK (who appeared in SABPD uniform until I called him out for it).

DONALD JOHN TRUMP is alleged to have committed some 34 felonies to steal the election by concealing an adulterous affair (two weeks before 2016 election).

DONALD JOHN TRUMP's alleged motive was winning an election by concealing the affair, and implementing plans to euchre New York tax officials.

To our recovering Republican friends: we will pray for you.  To those still distributing election lies: bless your hearts.

From The New Yorker:

A Male Hand Filling Out The Amount On A Check.
Photograph by Andrey Popov / Getty

Millions of Americans Who Have Paid Off Porn Stars Feel Under Attack

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (The Borowitz Report)—The approximately forty million Americans who have paid off porn stars feel “embattled and persecuted” as a result of recent events, a prominent psychologist reports.

Harland Dorrinson, who has treated countless people who have paid off porn stars, said that many of his patients have been experiencing “acute anxiety and stress” during the past week.

The porn-star compensators, who represent roughly twelve per cent of the U.S. population, believe that their basic constitutional right to silence an adult-film performer with a financial emolument “is in jeopardy like never before,” he said.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ask them how grabbing women's crotches and courting porn stars vibes with their religious beliefs. Bible says, "It is easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven" yet they got a billionaire elected? Suffice to say he won't be donating all his grifted money to philanthropy upon his death. And what about all the lies that Trump and the Trump Club puts out like it's some silly joke or grade school activity? I thought lies were of the devil? And what about confessing your sins? Instead they cover wrongdoing with denial and lies. Obviously Trump is not a religious man and even lies about this to his own benefit political or otherwise. Who can call himself a Christian and help to perpetuate such a scam?