Alan Grayson for Congress

I love Alan Grayson.  Democratic Congressional candidate Faye Armitage and I met him in Orlando on Election Night 2008.  Cool guy.  Need more Congress members with fortitude, less with attitude.

Dear Ed,

My obnoxious Republican opponent just sent out a nationwide e-mail blast, decrying me as a socialist.  To be specific, he says that I’m a “Hard Left (Some Would Say Socialist) Democrat.”

Wayne, Wayne, please take a remedial course in capitalization.  Poor punctuation is the opiate of the masses.

Also . . . the ghost of Karl Marx doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

What do you think?  That I might just be the “socialist” you’re looking for?   If so, comrade, then please click here, and make your contribution toward our inevitable proletarian triumph >>

“Socialist?” Let’s see . . . .

I strongly support universal healthcare.  Check.

I not only support universal free public education, but I would expand that aspect of the creeping socialist state to public colleges, as well.  Check.

I support a $15 minimum wage.  Check.

I strongly support expanded, mandatory benefits for people who work, including paid sick leave, paid vacations, paid maternity/paternity leave, pensions and the right to organize.  Check.

I definitely support clean air, clean water, a healthy food supply and a substantial reduction in carbon pollution.  Check.

I am probably the leading national proponent of expanding pensions and healthcare for seniors, a/k/a Social Security and Medicare.  Check.

I strongly support progressive taxation.  Check.

I strongly favor government enforcement of anti-discrimination laws, and the right to choose.  Check.

Now, to be fair, I have never hugged a tree.  I have visited Vietnam, but unlike Jane Fonda, I waited until the war was over.  (I was 16 when it ended.) I celebrate Labor Day in September, not May. Personally, I have nothing against the kulaks.  I have never sung “The Internationale,” and if I did, I’m sure that I would sing it poorly. I regard it as unfortunate that Trotsky was murdered by an axe to the head, but I don’t think about it very often.

However, if comedian Jeff Foxworthy ever says to me, “You might be a socialist . . . ,” I might have to hear him out.  (But if Foxworthy says to me, “You might be a redneck,” no.)

If you are concerned that there might be socialists hiding under your bed, then please don’t contribute to our campaign.  But, on the other hand, if universal heathcare, higher wages and benefits, expanded Social Security and Medicare, free public college and true equality sound, well, pretty good to you, then please contribute $20.18 right here and right now, you socialist you >>

Courage,

Alan Grayson

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