Thursday, August 17, 2023

ANNALS OF DeSANTISTAN: Satire from The Onion: DeSantis Has Surprisingly Smooth Verbal Exchange With Iowa State Fair Corn Dog (The Onion, August 10, 2023:

Those of us in St. Augustine and St. Johns County who have endured his work as a public serpent, 2013-2023, know that this rings true. RONALD DION DeSANTIS has no charm, no class, and is a crass ass, constantly whining as if he had grievances, as a privileged former Yale U. Baseball Team Captain and Harvard Law School graduate, former Navy lawyer and former Holland & Knight associate. Our elected officials and citizens had the same view of DeSANTIS: all hat and no cattle, all hate and no compassion, stiffing our local officials on scheduled meetings. Is DeSANTIS not unlike an alien implant from the Koch Brothers, Big Oil and Fox News (where he appeared 40 times as Congressman, 2013-2018, always ready to ululate and say stupid "stuff")? This misguided, inarticulate bloviating ninny, our Boy Governor, sounds like an undereducated undergraduate. He is shallow and callow, constantly resorting to filler words like "stuff" whenever he has nothing to say (which is often). Governor DeSANTIS is a waste of a good education. God forgive  him for his anti-Black, anti-LGBTQ+, anti-Disney flummery, dupery and nincompoopery and whining about "woke." Pray for this misanthropic public serpent. Satire from The Onion:

DeSantis Has Surprisingly Smooth Verbal Exchange With Iowa State Fair Corn Dog

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DES MOINES, IA—Praising the presidential candidate for nailing a high-profile stop on his campaign tour, witnesses confirmed Thursday that Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis had a surprisingly smooth verbal exchange with a corn dog at the Iowa State Fair. “Frankly, I know he’s struggled with voter interactions in the past, but he looked and sounded totally natural out there when courting that corn dog,” said campaign staffer Greg Wheelan, adding that DeSantis was confident, calm, and collected while addressing the cornmeal-battered, deep-fried frank, and even made sure to compliment its golden brown, crispy exterior, as well as its stick and choice of condiments. “First and foremost, Ron made it clear that he was not just at the Iowa State Fair to campaign, but he was also there to listen, and spent several minutes sitting silently with the corn dog so he could absorb everything it had to say to him. By the end of the conversation, it was clear he’d secured the corn dog’s vote. He even gave it a hug.” At press time, crowds at the fair were reportedly shocked after Ron DeSantis approached a family, screamed something unintelligible, and took a bite out of their young daughter’s arm.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

With the absolutely horrible political ideology that we have in this country, it's a surprise that we even have a government services outside of police/jails, schools, and the military. It's really a miracle, gives me a sense of wonder and amazement.